okay so i know i'm the worst blogger, especially since i only updated twice from London but here's what I have to say: if you wanna know how London was, text/call me and we will meet up for a chat and I will tell you all about London, but I am here on this earth to spread the love of God so that's what I'm going to do. Talks about the pretty sights of London can wait.
So basically God has really convicted me lately of how much I cannot see myself living in America for the rest of my life. I used to only want the comfortable life and for God to just be there for me every Sunday morning and Wednesday night and for Him to be there with my future children and show them His love, but for Him to stay as far away from "My Will" as possible. Well, God has absolutely wrecked that and I love it. For the first time in my life now I'm crying for things that break God's heart every single day. And yes, right now I am trying to wait as patiently as possible for God's perfect timing but in this deep valley of my life God is revealing Himself to me in such a beautiful and amazing ways.
God has shown me how FOOLISH it is for my worth to be found in the materialistic possessions of this earth, and that my identity and worth needs to be found in Him and Him alone. To be free from type of soulless living is something I never thought I would be able to overcome, but God's persistence is greater than my resistance, so God showed me that I have something better to live for than a designer bag. God has also shown me what being a Christian is to look like. I am called to go to the places of this world where His light is not shining and tell the people there about His unconditional love for them. Me going on the mission field is not "optional", it's what He called us to do in the Great Commission in Matthew. The real question is if God is calling you to be on the mission field short term or long term. Because until we see what a hurting world we live in and how much people need God, our idols to possessions and success are ALWAYS going to win out. But once you see the love on a child's face when you tell him about Jesus, it gets personal. And there is no escape from it. These children are no longer statistics, they are real humans with feelings who need God to get through this life. Knowing today that 26,000 children will die today from preventable diseases breaks my heart, because I could be there right now loving on those children and showing them the love of God. All Christians are called to missions, because we are the body of Christ, and it is our job to tell the world about God.
To be wrecked by God is one of the most difficult and humbling experiences I've ever had. It is beautiful to see what God can do with a broken soul and I know that God will bring beauty from this pain. God has never failed anyone and He is not going to start with me. For anyone going through a hard time right now, clinging to God is the only suggestion I have. Immerse yourself in His daily love, guidance, comfort, and protection. He will make you CRAVE time with Him and restore you daily. GOD DOESN'T BACK DOWN. He will NOT give up on you, no matter how hopeless you feel. God can rescue you, just let Him.
Okay, I'm going to step down from my soapbox now. Just please don't run away from God. Just crash into Him. He is strong enough to catch you. He will sustain you. You can't do it on your own. God can do it though. Turn to Him. Let Him show you His beautiful love and grace. Let your life be worth more than a nice car and an empty soul.
"You knew how You'd save me before I fell dead in the garden. And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt. And You know the plans that You have for me, and You can't plan the end and not plan the means. And so I suppose I just need some peace, just to get me to sleep."
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Emmanuel, God is with us. El Shaddai, all sufficient. We NEVER walk alone, and this is our hope
Okay, so I know that since I didn't update yesterday the beginning of this blog should read "bear with me for this long post to make up for the past two days" but i'm extremely sleep deprived so I may just do the highlights/update for yesterday and be forever behind one day :)
So yesterday and today God has definitely been teaching me lessons on PATIENCE. Everything that could possibly go wrong on the little thing has. Trains not working properly, attractions closing early, elevators breaking, schedules not being followed--by the end of the day I was just laughing at the fact that we make such tight plans when in reality God is the one in control, not us. But yesterday was very good and God's lessons on patience are slowing working their way into my daily life :)
But anyways, yesterday we went to St. Paul's cathedral (so gorgeous!!!), walked over the London Bride, went to the London Tower, walked up the London monument, saw the Tower Bridge, and then went on the London Eye. And yes, that was all in one day. The fact that we did all of these things in one day with my whole family is a miracle in itself when we take into account how many trains/tubes we had to catch and that we are traveling with my mother who has an injured hip and my 80 year-old grandmother! But God was so good yesterday and helped ensure we all kept positive attitudes and loved each other.
And now here is where I should start talking about our day trip to Paris but I'm about to fall asleep and I know that this post has been enough rambling for one night so tomorrow night I will hopefully get caught up on everything. Just please keep praying for Japan and London. They need God so much.
"what this world needs is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance, blending in so well that people can't tell the difference, and it's the difference that sets the world free"
Sunday, March 13, 2011
we won't stop until the whole world hears about Jesus
Okay so I'm going to attempt to keep my blog for the next few days while I'm exploring London, but i'm horrible at this blogging thing so bear with me please.
so first off London is not at all what I expected it to be and at the same time it's exactly what I thought it would be. everybody here seems so emotionless and just drained of everything yet they are all dressed up quite nicely. This aspect will probably take me the entire week to get used to because I'm used to the exact opposite in South Africa-kids with only one outfit who are so excited to be alive. So far though, even though it's been very exhausting it has also just helped solidify that God is in fact calling me to be a missionary, so that has been very exciting for me.
Another positive aspect has been when we got on the plane to London from North Carolina my dad was sitting by a woman who "happened" to work for a non-profit company in the Accounting side who had also worked retail earlier in her career!! for those of you that know me well, you know that right now I just changed my major to Accounting and am trying to decide whether to take an internship this summer with a non-profit or a big retail company. So that was very wonderful that God would give me that reassurance and let me talk to the woman for a few minutes. It was even more perfect that I happened to be wearing my 147 million orphans tshirt so I got to tell the woman about that organization and how they are helping the children of God.
But anyways, London. Sorry, I told you I'm bad at this blogging thing. But we arrived in London around 7:30AM London time, which was 2:30AM Birmingham time and had a full day planned of activities. Unfortunately, it took us a couple of hours to find our hotel/get unpacked but it all worked out and we were very thankful to find our hotel! it's amazing what God can do and how He is faithful in even the smallest of things. God definitely gave me a good attitude today with my measly 3 hours of sleep, so I am extremely thankful for that! But after we got all unpacked and kind of settled in, we spent the afternoon shopping. The main place we went was in Harrod's, and I was honestly taken aback by how much people were spending on things just cause it had the name "Harrod's" on it! It's amazing how God can gave your perspective so drastically in a short period. For instance, there was a notebook there for about $47 American dollars. If I had gone on this trip a year ago I might have considered buying that notebook, but today all I could think was, "i could just take that same money and give it to a charity and let it feed children in Africa for about two weeks....or i could have another notebook i don't need." So while I'm extremely thankful for this new perspective, it might make souvenir shopping a tad bit more difficult. but God is good, always, so I know it will all work out.
So all in all, our trip is going pretty well, but please pray for the people of London. They need God desperately. You can just tell that some of them are walking around aimlessly trying to find their place in life, and they need God to find their place. And please pray for the people of Japan as well. This is such a devastating tragedy for their country and just pray that God will comfort the survivors and reveal Himself to them in such a way that they will not be able to deny God and His love for them.
"Jesus paid much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come"
PS-whoever prayed for me to want to do God's will with my life rather than my own, thank you. Your prayer has definitely been answered. I realized today that I do not really like this vacation as much as I thought I would so far mainly because it's not a mission trip. So your prayer as answered and then some :)
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